Archaeologists in Turkey recently discovered an 11,000-year-old stone carving of a man holding his wiener while fighting off leopards…yes, you read that right.

Transcript

We’re gonna be talking about the oldest narrative scene we have in documented history and it’s of a man holding his wiener. Yes, I said wiener.

Apparently, the stone two-panel carving was discovered by archaeologists in Turkey in an 11,000-year-old complex. This engraving of a man holding his wiener was found on benches that lined the walls in a communal area.

So this guy holding his dick, though, wasn’t the main focal point of this engraving. There were two panels. Both panels, though, portray a person in the middle facing dangerous animals and this is where the narrative scene comes into play.

So on the left panel, we see a squatting male figure who holds something like a snake kind of in his hand, and he’s going up against a bull.

The right panel, with the man grabbing his schlong, has leopards approaching him from either side. It’s supposed to be a very, like, scary kind of scene a little bit.

These Turkish panels, though, are believed by archaeologists to be the first known progression of a story narrative.