Is this what's keeping you from work-life balance?

Is this what's keeping you from work-life balance?

Is it?

Let's find out.

I'm Amara Andrew.

And I'm Jeff Sarris.

And this is Useful Not Famous, the show where I probably should have figured out what I was going to say. But this is the show where we teach you how to use video content to build a better brand and a better you.

For people who care more about making money than getting likes and views.

That's what I'm supposed to say.

No, it's all good.

Thank you. A bug just bit my shoulder. Help!

So, we are out on the road with our ultra-minimalist podcast setup, which we'll post about more. But we're here in Miami Beach.

Yes, we are at 14th and Lummus Park.

So, we're here talking about work-life balance today. And people get work-life balance wrong. So, I need to talk to you because– Oh, yeah.

We need to set the timer. So, it's not on our normal timer, but here we go.

It's going.

I also wonder if you can hear the music behind us, but we'll find out later.

Yes, we will.

But, so, work-life balance. What people don't get is something I didn't get at all until I did.

Wow, insightful.

But, it's I never thought about it this way, except balance of any kind is an action, not a state. So, what do I mean by that? So, balance–

Are you asking me? Tell me what I mean by that.

But what do I mean by that? Balance is a constant shift of weight. It's an action, constantly shifting our weight from one side to the other to attain what appears to be balance, but there is no actual state of balance.

We never are in perfect balance because we're constantly moving and constantly shifting. So, we can apply the same thing to our work-life balance. So, if we're standing on one foot, say, on a slackline, we're leaning to the right, leaning to the left, constantly.

So, we're doing more until more is too much, then we lean back, less, until less is too little, and then repeat. With work-life balance, that's what we can do. We can expand and contract to constantly try to strike a balance.

So, then what to you is work-life balance? Like, is it like a percentage? Is it an idea?

Like, what is it?

So, that's the thing. I think it's an action, like purely an action. So, it's striving for work-life balance.

You're all about that action, aren't you, Sarris? Cue all the previous episodes.

But really, action, I think, is everything. Like, that's the only thing that matters. And so I think, and that's something that didn't come to me until recently, was that work-life balance would be an action, because you think of balance generally as this is a balanced something.

And thinking physically from muscle and like physical balance in this sense, not really like a balanced composition, because that's not moving. But us, as a human, living, moving creature, we're constantly in flux.

We sure are. Is it distracting being out and about?

Oh, god, yeah. Even when it's just the two of us, I'm like, "What's that? What's that?"

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But, I'm I'm practicing mindfulness right now and trying to just be in the moment.

So, coming here to Miami Beach is–

Oh, wait. So, you said work-life balance, though, is action. So, it's not necessarily like how people are like, "Do 50/50, like work 50 and life 50," cuz that's obviously so fucking unrealistic.

It's like that will never happen.

Well, and I think the big thing is that–

Well, and how does it work for us, also, as an example?

I was just gonna say, like people would strive to have like the perfection, that it's a state you can reach, but there just– I don't think there is one. I think that's the whole thing. Is like you said, 50/50 or whatever it is, or like turn off at 5:00 p.m.

Or this, whatever it is. You can have your rules and your tactics on how I keep my work-life balance. We never listen to music when we're talking like this, so it's so weird.

To take a bass line–

Every song I'm like, "That's a jam!"

But the work-life balance is– I just totally lost my train of thought. Choo-choo.

I saw the sun.

That was not the right song, but it is Ace of Base.

But, so that– This is off the rails.

Yeah, sorry, humble listener.

Well, yeah. So, it's not an exact percentage of it's 50% this, 50% that. Instead, it is like It's It's like Buddhism.

It's like an ongoing practice or like any Not even bringing like a philosophy or religion into it, but it is, cuz it's like It's like trying to do mindfulness. Trying to do mindfulness. It's just you need to be in it and you need to constantly work at it.

So, like there is no solution. The solution is the practice of it, which I don't know, I think it's very interesting.

Well, it's just like meditation. It's not about clearing your mind. It's about recognizing when thoughts arise and letting them flow away.

Letting them run their course.

So, you were saying, though, before that's why we're here in Miami.

Yeah, which we can talk about in the "what" section, cuz we're almost done with the first one. However, just that it's not a state to seek. It's not a state that you'll ever find, and being comfortable understanding that, that there is no perfect balance.

There is no perfect state of work and life. It's an action of continuously expanding and then contracting. So, like now I'm doing too much, let me pull back.

Now I'm doing too little, let me go bigger. And that'll be a constant iteration for your entire work life, I think.

Yeah, and to not be discouraged if you do need to keep tweaking every little bit, like here and there, cuz You know, even if– It is It is difficult. Jesus, that's loud.

Time.

Okay, time! Okay, so I'm setting five more minutes.

Yeah, but that's just an aside. What you were just saying–

Time's up.

There is no–

Skrt! You know how to get me.

But yeah, there is no perfect balance, and not even being comfortable if you have to keep shifting, but that you will keep shifting.

Yeah, forever. That's like a diet, it's like exercise, it's like everything. Just finding that balance.

Which brings us into our next five minutes! What are we doing on this planet?

Yeah, so we didn't– We didn't map this out this time, but we always have three 5-minute segments. First, it's the why, then it's the what, and then it's the how. So, the second, the what, is what the hell are we doing?

See, this is We're all discombobulated. So, what are we doing? We're sitting in the grass in Lummus Park at 14th right across from Finnegan's Way, I think.

Is that Bob? Oh, no, the Cardozo. Duh.

So, yeah, we're here in Miami.

Yeah, we love Miami Beach, so we come here as much as we can.

And we literally booked this 48 hours before we left because I don't know, I was sad. You were sad.

Yes, the work-life balance. Like, we have We are ambitious to a fault and we can do more until more is too much and not always do less.

Well, this past year, year and a half, has been an absolute whirlwind. Like I can't even believe it's been that long so far. And that there's certain things I wish I had done differently or documented more on the journey.

Like, but I was so, we do video. We travel all over the country filming with realtors in the market. And I was so focused on everybody else's stuff that I didn't even think about mine.

So, that was something that we've been working on, is like, "Okay, now I need to treat us like a client," because that's not fair to us if it's like, especially you. You've always pushed everybody else's stuff to the forefront, which is good because it's been a good, solid business plan for you. However, your personal brand and everything is non-existent because for the past 15–

It's only a person-to-person, but not a public one.

Yeah, so for the past 15 years, you're behind the scenes of some recognizable things, but nobody would have any idea because you don't didn't post about it, because you don't keep up with it. Ooh, I know, we're part of it. I'm talking over it.

And then–

But it's it's hard when you're in it, and you're You're making all these things for everybody else, but then you're not actually doing it for yourself. And it's so easy to just forget about you. And like I don't know.

This sounds kind of ridiculous, but like I forgot about myself in every single way.

I was gonna say, for the past year, that is the challenge. This is–

Yeah, that's just been utterly depressing, but like nobody sees that side because that's also what you hide from everybody. So, it's like here, I feel like myself so much more than I have in a very long time, not to make it me-me-me emotional, but–

No, but this is this is the what are we doing segment.

What is wrong with you?

But that's the thing, is we– Or wait, what was I gonna say with that? No, don't start. So, put my hands up in the air, I'm like–

You're not helping.

But that this year, that's what it is, I got it. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Moving on up, yeah.

So, we've gone– We've traveled a ton for MAVEN and filmed with people, but this is the first trip we've taken just the two of us in over a year. And we always would come to Miami. Miami is the place Miami is the one place where we can both turn off completely.

Like we're not we don't have to be working.

Yes. Not in my head. Like, yeah!

If you can't hear it, Miley Cyrus is playing behind us. We don't know if you can hear it.

Oh, my god. Is that who– I thought it was Shakira.

No, that was just you. It was karaoke time.

Yeah!

But yeah, we sort of lost ourselves in that we did more until more was too much and we didn't pull back soon enough, I think. Do you agree?

Oh, I 100% agree. Like now, we're sort of shifting everything a little bit, which has really been helpful and good to not run ourselves ragged, cuz we were traveling literally every single week of the year, like in different time zones, like not even in one contiguous time zone. Like it just It constantly was shifting and I don't know, it was just so, so much.

And then just like then I was editing when I wasn't filming with people. So, I didn't even get the time to stop and be like, "Okay, what are we making?" and take like a deeper look at it and just make everything even better, cuz like we were doing it on the fly, but it's it's so much more difficult than people can imagine.

And I know everybody says that about their profession and it's like, "Oh, cry me a fucking river," but it's It was very difficult.

I would actually push back on doing it on the fly, only that because that's the only thing we did, it's I don't even consider it on the fly. It's like we only focused on that.

Well, yeah.

So, then we lost a little bit of the like, "Oh, yeah, we do also need to have a little more of our together life injected in." Like, work cuz we're always together 100% of the time, and we always have a really good time.

Yeah, but like we're not, though, at the same time.

We don't have like the We don't have the time to turn off and that's been very important.

And, yeah, we obviously making the content and like coming up with prompts and ideas, that was very calculated and thoughtful, but I didn't have the time to have fun.

Yeah.

And be like, "Oh, what if we try this?" Like–

Time.

But that was how it started was having all the fun and like doing the fun things. But then when you're just so focused on the content, I guess that's what I mean. It was hard to have more fun with it with people, because also, you could just see that we were so drained.

So, I don't know. It's been good to like step back and just sort of say goodbye to things and just move forward.

Well, and just shifting a little bit more in a healthy way to be a little more selfish because we do need to have a little more time for us. We need to focus a little more attention on the things we want to make that we've wanted to for so long, and we've taken baby steps towards it.

Literally baby steps. Not literal.

So, it's not So, I would say, yeah, individual baby steps, now things are very close to being done. But, it's also because we've been like, "Okay, we're carving out the time for it."

Yes.

So, there will be more things, if you've seen Hiveway, myhiveway.com, there are some big things coming there that we are very excited about that will be soon. But let's get into the how.

Starting the timer, 5 minutes.

Yeah, the final 5 minutes of this little on-the-road show, our little road show.

Ooh, Antiques Roadshow! Did you ever watch that?

Also, we never even said real quick, we're in Miami Beach.

Oh, the timer! Just leave it.

No, just leave it. We're in Miami Beach.

Yes.

It is the Air and Sea Show. We had no idea.

Oh, my god, it's so fucking cool.

It's Memorial Day weekend, obviously, because this comes out on Memorial Day, but sometimes we pre-record. We do not.

No.

But this has been the most fun. This was This has been amazing.

Yeah. No, this has seriously been so cool. Like, I Oh, shit.

I had no idea what we were even going to experience. Like, I knew it was going to go on when we were here.

Yeah, I had no idea.

Yeah, and I just saw it was just like a thing and I was like, "Oh, okay, cool." It is phenomenal! Like, it's awesome. And like, having family in the military and everything, I don't know, I have a special attachment to the like, which is something nobody knows about me and I'm putting it out there right now, but like I do have an attachment to the military and people who serve and like all that.

So, like getting to be here, too, for that, it's like, I don't know. It's really special.

Oh, yeah, this is the most patriotic I've ever felt.

Yeah, you seem like it. Like you've really got Like I'm always very patriotic, but no one would have any idea.

Well, there's never like There's no point to bring it up.

I love punk, but I'm also patriotic.

Like if you're if you don't actually know us personally and don't follow on Instagram, just you can see what we've been up to.

Oh, yeah, you should. That's really cool. Okay.

Yeah, there's been some fun stuff. But anyway, okay, so why, how.

So, into the how. So–

I don't even know what segment it is.

He doesn't even know what state he's in.

Okay, so work-life balance, how?

Confusion. So, trying to figure out how to have proper work-life balance is like I mean, we literally are just figuring it out right now. So, it's it's funny because I feel like an imposter trying to explain work-life balance when I'm literally just now feeling like my old self again.

I haven't felt like this in over two years. I shit you not. It's been very difficult.

But, so I've done this expansion and contraction many times, not really understanding this concept. I've I've never heard anyone talk about balance in this way, more until more is too much, less until less is too little.

But every time I say it to people, they seem to like it.

Yeah.

Like they're like, "Oh, I get that." So, that's why I've really sort of leaned into it a bit more to really think about it. And I think the beauty of what you just said is we're not the perfect specimen. I mean, maybe we are, but.

No, but we're not that perfect knowledge base. Like we're constantly learning.

Oh, yeah, just like everybody.

Yeah, and you can teach people best when you're just a little bit beyond where they are. If we're like, "We have this work-life balance thing so dialed and figured out perfectly forever. How do you just not do it?"

That's not as helpful.

Well, and even like I think it was two weeks ago, we didn't record an episode because it was like, "There's no way." Like we I forget. Oh, I think it was Mother's Day. So, like we were busy that weekend and it was just There were so many different things that were going on that weekend, so it was like, "There's no way we can do this and actually like make it a worthwhile episode." So, it's like, why would you push through to make something shitty when you could just take a beat and just be like, "I'll just we'll get back to it next week"?

Cuz we're like, "Oh, we could do it like tomorrow," and blah, blah, blah. So, anyway, we're still figuring it out. So, like I can't, honestly, I can't really give concrete advice other than what has worked for us.

So, for example, coming to Miami, like you said, this is our spot. So, essentially, this sounds really stupid, but hear me out. Give me a minute.

But, if you find that one place where you can go, you don't need to think, you can just go. And what That could even just be in your state. I mean, it's not for us.

Like, where you live. It could be nearby, it could be whatever. The one place where you can go where you don't need to think about anything.

So, coming to Miami for us, we seriously like I have our Airbnbs or hotels where I want to go explore next or something that we did before. Like, we're staying at the same place we've stayed before because we really liked it. Always a great experience.

Doing that, don't need to think about it, book the flights, we already know exactly what we're going to expect here. We have our staples where we go, and that is so good because we make, as we talked about in another episode, a shit ton of decisions. The least amount of decisions I need to make, the better, and because decisions get in the way of the fun creative, which is what we both really like.

And that's what's been in the way, is having to make all these fucking decisions all the time. And it's great. Like, I'm I'm super thankful for everything.

This sounds really shitty, but like I'm very This has sounded shitty. But, I'm thankful for everything that we've gotten to do, but having the time to just unwind and not have to make all the decisions. Time!

Is It's been very good. So, coming here to Miami, coming going wherever works for you, finding that one place where you can just be and just exist. You don't have to think about, "Oh, where are we going to eat dinner?" Unless you want to, unless it's like a fun creative thing for you.

Like, we tried two new places on this trip because it was like, "Oh, we should." Normally, I'm just like, "Fuck it. Let's just go to the same four places," even though I normally– Well, even though normally–

Well, we do inside. So, we always have a good time.

Yeah, even though normally, I like to go do fun, unique things. But, the past couple times, it's just been like, "Let's just do like our regulars and then we like don't need to worry about it." Cuz also, we had people with us, which was fun.

That's that's what I wanted to touch on.

But, it was just it's a different experience because we're like It's It's just different.

Yeah, I want to touch on that real quick.

Yeah.

That's something that we found for us is this isn't meant to be self-aggrandizing. Don't you dance.

I love this song.

This isn't meant to be self-aggrandizing, but both of us, the reason we connected was we're just innately caretaker types who are trying to make sure the other person– Can I say something serious here? I'm sorry, I'm listening. But, we're like we're naturally both the caretakers in almost every relationship.

So, we're doing everything in our power to make sure everyone else is having a good time all the time, and that it isn't an action that we think about. It's how we're wired. It's It feels weird to say it, cuz like I can't help it.

Like, if we are with other people, I'm only focused on them and not you, and you know this.

Same. Like, we don't see each other for like a week and we'll be like, "Oh, how was your vacation?" But–

Wait, what?

No, like if we're with someone, and like–

Yeah, when we're filming with people.

Yeah, like we won't see each other for like four days, and then we'll like We will, but it'll just be different. Then, we're like, "Oh, how was your last week?"

Yeah, we're we're living outward, both We're both here facing We're both here facing the camera.

Hello.

And instead of each other. And that's what one of the things we discovered as we've brought people to Miami, which is really nice, but we weren't able to turn off.

Yes.

And that was a shock to really come to that realization. Like, "Oh, yeah, even in our favorite place, the only place we can turn off, we couldn't." And that's thrown off–

That was destroying me.

Yeah, and so like that's what's thrown off not feeling like we had like us time and time away.

Yeah.

And that's part of the contraction. Like, we expanded. We expanded with work.

We expanded even with like our friend group and friend circle,

Which was really fun. Like, it was a fun, novel experience, but I didn't even think about it wasn't a vacation like how it typically is.

Yeah, it wasn't a turn off.

And I liked the novelty cuz it's fun having people here where it's just like, "Oh, hey, what are you doing?" But, there is something more fulfilling, which is why I'm saying like find that place for you where you can like Some people it's Jamaica, some people just down the street.

Yeah, we have a friend who– Yeah, that was partially how we came to this realization, is we have a friend, Mike, who never turns off. And then, Lisa just brought up how like, "Oh, yeah, he turns off in one place and one place alone, and that's Jamaica." And that was when it sort of clicked. It was like, "Wait, that's part of the allure here."

It's like, "Oh, that's why we love coming here so much."

Yeah.

So, yeah. So, don't fucking come here or else I'll be very upset. You mean right now?

Yeah, just leave it alone.

When this comes out Monday and we're already away, you can come here then.

Yeah,. I don't know about that.

No.

Stay off my island.

No, but basically, we've learned that despite having a good time, we probably are going to only do–

These are really shoes.

We're probably only going to do Miami alone.

I think so.

For the almost For the foreseeable future.

Yeah, almost all the time, until we find until we come up with another place where we turn off completely, that then we share Miami with others. But right now, this is our only turn off place.

This is strong grass. Holy hell. Oh, there it is.

Got it. Anyway, so, yeah, find that place for you, just take some time away and don't stress about trying to find perfect work-life balance, because it doesn't exist. Like It just doesn't.

Well, yeah, it's an action, so you're always seeking it.

Yeah, so now's Yeah, so just try to take that beat for yourself and I don't know, just take care of you more. Oh, also, I got a massage for the first time in like years. I just I don't know.

It just felt really good. It was like taking care of me first. And I know that's like not revolutionary for most people.

They're just like, "Oh, my god, I do reiki or whatever, get it done," which is cool, whatever. But–

I was I was just so hoping you were going to be like, "Oh, and I got a massage. That's all, bye." It just felt like you were going to end the episode there.

But, just doing those self-care things for yourself and just trying to trying to make you feel valued is really important because nobody else is going to make you feel that, and you just have to do it for you. So, I don't know. On that note–

And that's a good spot to wrap, and how do you like the fuzzy lights behind us? This is a black mist filter. I think it's kind of cool.

Okay.

He's so eager to record my other content.

Okay. Bye!

Bye!