You're not forgetful, just stupid

If you walk in 20 feet and walk through a doorway, you're more likely to forget what you were just thinking than if you were walking the same distance in a room. Today we're going to talk about that and what that means for your content, for your memory, for pretty much every aspect of your life.

I forgot what I was supposed to say.

This is Useful Not Famous, the podcast about being useful and having a memory for what we're supposed to be saying.

This is a show where we talk about things that we find interesting and share them with you. I'm Amara.

I'm Jeff.

Welcome.

Yeah, today's about memories, so I think it's funny that you're like, "I don't remember what I'm supposed to say."

That was the joke. I did. And then he took over and then I was like, "I'll just let it happen." That was my joke.

You dead— you deadpanned it so—

You took my joke!

You deadpanned it so seriously that I thought you were serious, so I was just trying to help.

Just feeling spicy today.

So, this is called boundaries. We need to set up some boundaries.

<laughter>

No, but in memory, in memory research, it's called boundaries.

So yeah, it's not boundaries like we need to protect our time or anything, it's purely boundaries as in like you step, yeah, like over the threshold.

In physical space.

Yeah, which I think is really important cause I've literally seen this in action with people that we've filmed with, what is maeven.com. We've seen this with people where as soon as like, so we book the shooting spaces typically, it depends on like what the business is and everything, but we work with a lot of realtors.

So, with the realtors, we actually book shooting spaces because I've learned from recording my own content, if I'm in the house, it's in the house. If I'm in the house, my mind is so She touched my leg! <laughter> If I'm in the house, it's such a different, like I've gotten so much better with being able to take myself out of that this is the house and treat it as a filming space, but it's hard when you're not sort of seasoned or you're not mentally in that framework.

If you're in your home trying to make content or trying to do anything that isn't actually stuff in your house, like running a business, it's really challenging for most people, cause then it's like, "Oh, well, I see the pile of dirty dishes I need to go do," or "the laundry," or "I'm forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing," and like you can't quite focus, or you have people in your house, like tons of people, <laughter> and then it's just like, "Well, now I need to take that kid to soccer practice.

Now I need to wipe the snot off that kid and deal with your spouse," and like all those different things. It's like <sigh> this also sort of goes with then like recording content on your phone versus having a dedicated device, which we're really big on, having a dedicated device, cause then you don't have all the notifications on your phone like that take you out of the moment, cause everybody's just like this 24/7 and like just not focused.

Well, that's what I wanted to sort of I wanted to set I wanted to set the stage a little more where boundaries or physical boundaries are also observable, like you're saying. So, if you feel like you don't have a good memory, <gasp> like "I don't remember things. I forgot what I did today," yada, but you spend all day on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever it is, scrolling, you can think of boundaries like scene changes.

This happens in television and the context of where I learned about this was in relation to TV show and the Mandela Effect with the TV show, and why that is actually happening, and scene changes in a show, your brain will basically rapidly file away what it thinks is important, throw away everything else, because you have a new set of circum- circumstances to comprehend.

Now, apply that though to what you're doing on your phone. So, what you just said, you're "I'm going to record content." You look at your phone. What just happened is you're in the world, visually, you grab your phone and your scene, your boundary has You've crossed a boundary.

You've changed scenes. What you're looking at now is your phone screen with all of your notifications on it. "Okay, let me just respond to this person real quick." Or "Let me not even respond.

Let me just do what I was doing. What was I doing?" That's your brain. That's what you How your brain works.

This isn't like You're not forgetful. You're merely creating a scenario where you're stupid. Okay, you are stupid. <laughter> You're not forgetful.

You're stupid. Let me get that <laughter>

Yeah, that should just be the title. "You're not forgetful, you're stupid."

Ooh, that might be the title.

Hold on, I'm going to write that down before I forget, cause I will. What did I pick up my phone for? <laughter>

But this applies all over the board, and that's what's sort of interesting about it. So, in thinking about successful television, say, like we've we've been researching more about screenwriting and different things like that, just cause we're always learning. We have a very core tenant of learning being like the most important thing.

David Tennant.

Ay-ay-ay-ay. <laughter> But we're reading every day and it's always disparate things. It's not just one like It's not business books. <laughter> It's business books, but then it's astrophysics—

I just start I was just going to say, I just started reading Cosmos by Carl Sagan today. <gasp> I'm excited.

But bringing in all of this knowledge is very important. So, screenwriting is something we've been learning about. So, I'm thinking about all of this with boundaries in relation to screenwriting.

And when we think about some of the most successful shows, like Seinfeld, for example, is a one of the most successful shows, if not the most successful in all of human history. How is it What are the scenes in Seinfeld? You have Jerry's apartment.

You have the coffee shop. Basically, in any episode, there might be one or two other very, very minor scenes. But the entire series for nine years, eight years, however long it was, is in two rooms.

I wonder how much of an impact that has on the show's success, because Friends, something you're more up on, how many scenes would you would you say on average, if you were to like just go across the board, what are the scenes that you would normally have represented?

Yeah, it's funny. As you were thinking about movies when you were saying that, which I had another hypothesis for that. But related to Friends, yeah, you have the two apartments that are right across the hall from each other, and like different groups of people are residing in them.

So, I was going to say, "Well, it's like Rachel and Monica's." But yeah, you have the apartments across the hall from each other.

And the hall.

Yeah, the hall. And then Ross's apartment, which is like across the street. And then, but you only go there every once in a while.

And then the coffee shop, obviously, Central Perk. And, yeah, depending on what the storyline is, you'll maybe have one or two other like atypical scenes,

Yeah, like almost like a whole episode that's atypical.

But that keeps it fresh, cause I was going to say, I was thinking of movies and I was thinking of Legally Blonde specifically. Don't know why, that's just what popped into my little noggin. <laughter> I do love that movie though, it is so good. But you have the specific scenes that Elle Woods is in throughout the movie, and it's actually like the same scenes, sort of.

I don't know, I'm trying to think if that actually does work with movies though, because movies, you do need a difference of scene at certain points to like move the storyline along, cause then I was thinking about The Hangover, two of my favorite movies, I think, by far. That is a different scene like every time, because it's little vignettes that move the story along.

So, you couldn't be in the same scene. It's just like the hotel room is like that main part that you see repeatedly, but it's only like twice. I don't know.

And I don't want to say that everything should be samey. That's That's the one thing. Like,

Yeah.

See, The Hangover I think is a perfect example.

Well, because you're on a journey, so you're going to different parts of Vegas! <laughter>

What's So, what's happening when we're crossing a boundary? Our brain is throwing away everything it doesn't think is important. But The Hangover is a rush of important things all at once.

Well, yeah, you're trying to find Doug the whole time, so like you go here to here to here to here, and you don't remember exactly what happened at each scene, but you know—

Give me one scene. What's the first one that comes to mind? Give me the set.

Well, I was thinking when they're at the chapel. Like they go to the chapel. It's whatever the fuck it's called. <laughter> The little wedding chapel.

And then they go They like park the police car, <laughter> and then they go into the chapel and then it's the comedian guy. Oh my god, what the hell is his name? But anyway, yeah, you're just You're in the lobby of the chapel.

So, the one that comes to mind for me is Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson, tiger, hotel. That's all.

Lion? Tiger? Tiger, hotel.

No, but, you know what I mean? Memorable. Like, the scenes are just visual candy.

Like, you can't sort of forget certain scenes because your brain has to remember it because it's like, "Whoa, like, what is happening? This is crazy."

Or Ken Jeong jumping out of the

Out of the trunk! Yeah! That is That's etched in your brain, right?

But see, this is the thing. So, that would be how you're using boundaries to create the memories of what people need. Ooh, I want I almost want to go down the I don't want to go down this path, but Oz Pearlman, the Mentalist, this is what he does.

He's like, "I make you remember the things that I want you to remember and think I did the things I want you to think I did." But he doesn't actually do the things that you remember he did. He's making sure that's what you notice, that's what you file away, and the rest you Wipe. That's funny, I didn't even think about that till right now.

But I don't want to go down that path, I wanted to do one other movie because those are good examples. A movie that I think, for me, is fine, it's very average, it's not great in any way, it was novel for the way that they shot it, but I think the success of the movie is far exceeded the quality, sort of the measurable enjoyment of the movie,

<laughter> What is it?

The Blair Witch Project.

Oh, yeah.

There's arguably no scene changes. You're not crossing a boundary. You're You're there.

Well, you're at different parts of the forest the whole time.

But you think about a forest is generally a nondescript, everything's the same.

Well, then you're in the town, you're in the house.

But you know, like it's a very small number of scenes, like

You're in the car, you're in the hotel room. It does change.

Okay, all I remember is the forest, to be very honest.

Yeah, like it starts out in the hotel room or I think it's a hotel room before they actually go. So, it's like hotel room, car, forest, and then like tent and then forest, forest, forest <laughter> until house at the end.

Yeah, but I mean, could that have played a could that play a role in how much of an impact the movie has, because we don't have to constantly be throwing away all this info. We're only taking in the key stuff as it goes. Like I don't know, this is just a hypothesis.

Yeah, so I wonder then if the scene Okay, so like with Seinfeld, the setting doesn't matter. That's like ancillary. That's Ancil Adams. <laughter> That literally does not matter.

It matters enough where you're just like, "Oh, okay, cool, we're in Jerry's apartment. Okay, next—"

New York. Like that's sort of the scene of the whole show.

Yeah, it's just like, "Oh okay, we're inside. We're in the interior of a building, we're in our normal space, like we can just relax and like see what's happening." It's like going over to your friend's house, like it's that same feeling where you're you're comfortable and you know exactly where you are, and then you can focus on, "Okay, well, let's see what the action is, let's see what the dialogue is," whereas with The Hangover, you're more focused, like you're focused on the storyline, but you're more focused on these It's heavily dependent on the scenes, because that is what's literally moving the story.

Yeah, they're trying to figure out and like piece together what happened through dialogue and all that, but the dialogue almost doesn't even matter. Like there's only one line of dialogue that I remember from that whole movie.

And what would that be?

<laughter> I'm not going to say it.

I don't know what it is offhand, so—

It's the very beginning <laughter> when <laughter> what the fuck is his name? Blonde guy, Bradley Cooper is calling Ed Helms's character and he's like, "Paging Doctor <laughter> nutfucker." <laughter> I still find that so fucking funny, because I am a 12-year-old boy stuck in like the 2000s, <laughter> but anyways, it's just so funny.

Just like the timing of it, the delivery and everything, it's just unexpected. So, anyway, you don't really remember much Like a lot of the dialogue isn't You're not focused on it, you're focused on the visual transition, unlike Seinfeld, you're focused on the people and the parasocial relationships and everything.

You can listen to Seinfeld, and it's funny. You don't have to watch it.

That is a really great comparison. It's like certain podcasts that we like listening to, or watching, instead.

Yeah, almost every podcast is a listen. You don't need to watch, <Amara laughs> except a few.

There're only a couple, cause we like a lot of pod comedy podcasts, there are some where I'm listening to it and I'm like, "I have no idea what's going on, because it's all visual based," because they're working more in a visual sort of capacity.

And it's like they're making art pieces just in the podcast format.

Well, yeah. So, like Rick Glassman is one, where his is like you cannot listen to it, you have to watch it. Like,

It's called Take Your Shoes Off, if you're curious.

Yeah, so good, but you cannot just put it on and cook dinner, cause you're going to be like, "What the hell is happening?" And then you have to watch it.

-huh, well, like for example, if you listen to the Arnold Schwarzenegger episode,

<laughter>

I mean, I don't know if you would ever know throughout the entire episode that it's not him. <laughter> You'd be listening and like, "This sounds just like him. He's saying some kind of kind of crazy stuff, but whatever." <laughter> But no, it's Oh, I had his name on the tip of my tongue, but there's an actor who did like sitcoms and things, but he does a perfect Arnold, looks nothing like him.

Yeah, I forget his name.

But he does a perfect Arnold, and that's who's on the show, and he's Arnold Schwarzenegger on the show, and it's just Rick is also very performative in the way that he does things, there's

Like, his really performative pieces.

Yeah, there's animation thrown on top of things <laughter> that you just have to see it, you have to get it.

Well, same with like Bad Friends. That is, I would say, actually supposed to be an audio-first podcast, but they have a video component. But as I'm listening to it and doing my laps around the house, <laughter> I'm like, "Wait, what is happening?"

Can you imagine people are saying right now, "Wait, what is happening? Laps around the house?" <laughter>

I know. <laughter> I walk in the house when it's cold outside <laughter> to get my steps in. I tried listening to it and I was like, "What the hell are they talking about?" And I had to watch it, and then I was like, "That makes so much more sense." Like, I don't know what the hell was happening. I didn't know who was talking, like cause Andrew Santino, he does voices and then I was like, "Is this like a new guy?" <laughter> So it is funny, because that's like part of the joke, obviously, but there are certain ones where you need to see it.

So, anyway, I don't know how the hell I got down that tangent.

No, but there are just different So, those scene changes matter.

Like, there's specific things that we'll remember. We've also talked about it about the familiarity of things, like inside jokes.

Yes.

Rick Glassman, Take Your Shoes Off, is filled with inside jokes. So, that's something that it's Let's go back to Seinfeld real quick.

We'll be right back.

<laughter> And that's from the show. <laughter>

I just flew in from Cleveland.

Oh, as you're drinking water.

And boy, are my arms tired. We'll be right back.

<laughter>

Jesus Christ! <laughter>

Someone just walked by the window. But,

He didn't even look in. Good for him.

No. <laughter> But see, that was a scene change, a person walking by the window. Just I completely forgot where I was going with that.

Exactly.

He stole my memory!

Oh, yeah, he walked The boundary changed. My scene changed because I'm like, "Oh, someone's there. They're going to look in.

They're not looking in. Okay, good. They didn't look.

Now, what was I saying?" Like, that's so But that's how the brain is supposed to work.

Well, and when we've talked on the podcast before and I'm like, "I totally lost my train of thought," because I thought of another thing I wanted to say. So, I was like, "Yeah, shut up. Finish your point so I can talk about this next thing," and then I forget that next thing.

When you jump in with your jokes, that is what happens to me every single time. That's why sometimes I get frustrated, but <laughter>

Trying to get better.

No, but I like your jokes.

I'm a recovering <laughter> Yeah.

Joker-holic?

Boy, are my arms <laughter>

<laughter> But there's the inside jokes, the familiarity. So Kramer, when he goes to Jerry's apartment, he would swing the door open and slide in like crazy. It doesn't matter, it means nothing to the show, it does it has zero impact, but it's the familiarity.

So, like you also you know it because you've seen it so many times, but you can also discard it. So, you get there's some balance there that I don't know I don't have something I'm going for with this, but I think there's an interesting thing to explore with repeating sort of inside jokes, humor, whatever it is, so someone feels a part of it, like "I recognize that," or "That's the thing."

Well, for Friends fans, that would be Joey Tribbiani going, "How you doin'?" Like you know that and you know like that's the punchline for a lot of it. I'm not saying that Friends is the best TV show at all, but I'm just saying like I'm familiar with it.

It's very successful.

Yeah.

It's beloved in a way that I mean, like Seinfeld, Friends,

I love Lucy.

Yeah.

I've seen every episode too many times and it's like making fun of Ricky Ricardo's accent. Nowadays, probably frowned upon, <laughter> but that was like one of the running gags, or same with like Fred being a penny pincher and I don't know.

So, this is all before my time, so <laughter> it's not as helpful.

I know, I'm bringing it up and I'm like three people are going to know what the hell I'm even talking about. So, back to Friends! <laughter> But yeah, like we all have our it's almost like how we all have our little personality quirks, or we have our ways that we talk. We have very specific ways that we say things or very specific turns of phrase, where it's like if I hear I don't even know what it would be, but like certain people, like we have our like go-to things that we say, where it's like "We'll be right back." <laughter> Whatever it is.

I mean, earlier, so this we didn't wasn't on purpose, but you're like, "She touched my leg."

Oh, yeah, but I just mean like actual things, like in real life how we talk to each other. So, I'll be like, "So, anyways," like I say that a lot. We have those little like what the hell is it even called, like a speech quirk, where it's just like we have our little catchphrases and we say the same things, but we don't even realize we do because that's just

And even when we adopt them from other places, it just becomes part of like what we do and how we speak to each other, but that's the familiarity.

Exactly.

Yeah. Like, we don't speak to each other on this in the same way we speak to each other all the rest of the time.

Yeah, we do, but we don't.

But we don't use all of our inside sort of baseball, <laughter>

No.

Like none of that, it's because this is all things that everyone will understand how we're talking to each other.

Well, and this is different because I can't take as long of pauses to think like I normally do, so <laughter>

<laughter>

You can take as long as you want, I'll be patient. <laughter>

Okay, because some people No, then the person listening is going to be like, "I hate when people take long pauses on podcasts, because I'm like, 'Did it stop? Why'd you stop? Where'd it go?'"

Isn't that funny? It's like two seconds and then I'm like, "Hello, I'm here!" <laughter> It's like, "Calm down."

And that would be a scene change.

Yeah.

You know, a boundary, like it goes silent and suddenly you're like, "Oh, wait, did it stop? What's happening?" It's like stop

That just reminded me. So, I've done this before when I used to do illustration, spoiler alert, I used to be an illustrator.

You're You still illustrate and draw and like you're still an artist.

I mean, these hands are useless to me at this point, <laughter> like they're so out of the creativeness. I'm just at my keyboard all the time now. <laughter> I have claws instead of artist hands. <laughter> But I used to find I would like have music on full blast, <laughter> of course, to get in the zone, to get in that like flow state, and I loved it.

But I would find one song that it would just like it would speak to me, and it would be for that specific moment or that piece or whatever, I would have it on repeat and I would just listen to that for like hours, because it was just I knew what to expect and it just sort of was like a meditative state almost. So, I don't know if that's even sort of related, but that just made me think of that, where I would find like a <sigh> What the hell?

A fucking song, I don't know. <laughter> I was going to have an example and I was like, "I can't think of any song." <laughter>

Well,

But it would just be the same song. Like it could be any genre from the 1920s to the 2020s. Well, this was a while ago, 2010s. <laughter> But it would just be that one song that I would just listen to over and over and over and over and over again.

So, I think that's exploiting the boundaries thing, because if we're listening to

I'm not exploitative. <laughter>

If we're listening to a bunch of music, we're constantly switching scenes, but it might be the tone that we're going for. But if we need to focus, because I do the same exact thing and you know this, and I'll go through my list of things that I've done through the years, but if it's one thing that we know and it's the right it's the exact tone and feeling we need, if you just loop it, you don't even notice that it restarts.

It's just there, it's keeping you going. Like I do this with certain songs, like one that I have listened to way too much, I'm trying to think who it's by now though, but it's called "I Do Coke".

Oh, that's Kill The Noise.

Yeah, Kill The Noise.

Yeah, with someone else.

<singing> I do coke so I can work longer so I can earn more so I can do more coke. </singing>

Yeah, so that. So, that's <laughter> my version of doing coke is listening to a song called "I Do Coke". But It's a really good song.

I can just listen to that on loop if I have to like really lock in and focus on what I'm doing. That'll be on loop for the longest time. There would be like certain movies, certain shows,

Because that's literally Those are just the lyrics. Like it says that throughout the song with different voices, like male or female vocals, and that's it.

Yeah, the whole song. Yeah. But also, like the Bourne series, the whole Dexter series,

Do those have vocals?

Silicon Valley, like there's like shows and movies and things. Why are you smiling? <laughter> Don't you try to make jokes when I'm trying to make my point!

I'm not. <laughter>

<laughter> Let me see. Why is your mouth so flat? <laughter>

Cause I <laughter> I was hoping you wouldn't bring attention to it. My lip got stuck because of my lip gloss. No, are do they have vocals, or is it just purely like

You mean the shows and movie?

I thought you meant you were listening to the soundtracks from those shows. Oh!

No. So, I do listen to soundtracks sometimes, but like back before Sorry, that's what I thought you were saying is you listen to the soundtrack of those. Never mind. <laughter>

Yeah. <laughter> I was not making a joke. I'm just very stupid. <laughter>

No. <laughter>

"I'm not forgetful, I'm stupid." <laughter>

There you go. <laughter> But for the longest time for many years, I would just play the Bourne movies, I would play Dexter, I would there were all these different things because it was the energy of the aggression of one man versus the world just appeals to me and it always has.

So, I feel like now then, now that we're talking about this more in depth, is the boundary related to comfort and familiarity?

So, I think So, I think we're talking about two things, though. Bound-

Well, yeah, cause now we're going this different way.

Yeah, we're we're going like how you can like exploit the boundary thing to like get a feeling, but throw away the stuff, like it doesn't steal your focus, but you still get the feeling.

But I think, too, then your <laughter> Let's say, okay. So, like how we were just saying when you're recording content, cause that's the best example I can think of right now, you're recording content, not in your house, you rent an Airbnb, you record content there, it's an unfamiliar space at first, but then it becomes familiar, and then it becomes comfortable, because you know that space by then.

You've been there for an hour, two hours, however long it takes you. That then becomes the new normal. Like that is your normal spot.

Whereas if you kept changing Airbnbs after every single video, then that throws you off a little bit, so you can't entirely focus, I feel. So, I do actually think that it is related to familiarity and comfort, because then just like TV shows, they have the same sets. I don't know.

Well, and it's because it's the brain crossing some boundary and deciding, "Oh, I have to refresh. Let me just quickly throw the things into memory that I need and trash bin everything else."

Also known as the spank bank. <laughter> What kind of boundaries are you crossing?

I'm crossing all of them. <laughter> I'm an explorer. <laughter>

<laughter> But I think that's it's just interesting, like I didn't expect us to go down the path of how it can be beneficial, but it totally makes sense.

How did we do that?

No, just being like, "I'll listen to the same song over and over and over," because basically, you're never crossing a threshold. You're sticking within the one boundary. You're sticking within the one loop, so your brain doesn't have to like throw things away or whatever, but also it's giving you the feeling that you want, because you aren't You found that feeling, now let it just go.

I won't listen, but I hear it.

Yeah. It is interesting.

But I think it's important. So, what do what do we need to look at in terms of protecting ourselves from this, because social media is the ultimate exploitation of this, and it's how it sucks us in and we never leave.

Yeah, like especially I love TikTok, so I love just scrolling through and seeing what sort of jackpot, what dopamine sugarcoated gooiness I'll find in a video. It'll be like, "Well, that was really funny," or "Well, that was really clever." Everything else I do not remember, and you probably watch 100 or 200 videos just scrolling through in 10 minutes <laughter> or whatever.

It depends on your churn rate. What I was going to say for recording on your phone, I think you and I are some of the only people on this planet, we have every single notification turned off except for our texts from each other and your mom, <laughter> and that's it.

Yeah, nothing else. N- My phone will never buzz, and I'll never have a list of things on it.

Yeah, like I don't have any notifications show up at all. I have all my Like people hate this <laughter> when they try to call me and they're like, "Answer your fucking phone! Like, why do you have everything muted?" Cause I don't want to hear from everybody all the time, because it's going to be constant distractions, and you can't actually do the things that you need to do to run your business or to get forward, or get ahead, if you constantly have all these things popping up on your phone.

And unless that is the part of your business that you're running. So, if you're the communications part, cool. That's fine, that's what you're supposed to do.

But if you're doing everything in your business, like we do, then it's like, "Okay, I need to do the communications part, but I'll do that like from 4:00 to 5:00, or I'll do that in a couple hours," or whenever I can get to it. That's not a main priority right now. Nothing's that important, I don't need to be addressing all these texts all day or all these phone calls or anything.

And just as a little side note, like we do a lot of things, so we manage like email marketing with different people, like partners and this and that. So, one of the email marketing one of the platforms that we use email marketing for has Yours are a little more time sensitive than mine.

If you have things that pop up, then you need to address it more so, like

Oh, no, I'll only check my email. Like my stuff, I check it I don't check it every day. Like, I think people think that's crazy, but like you set the expectations with people and then it's just like, "Oh, I'll check it every third day." So, just know that when I respond though, I'm not going to say, "Huh?" You're going to have every single possible question answered, even the ones you didn't ask, because that should be the last correspondence for this topic, because I've given you all of the solutions you need or taken care of it.

But th- that's not where I'm going. Email marketing. We have a list of about 40 to 43,000 people.

We get like a 60% open rate or something on this for this one partner. Just yesterday, I sent out a reminder, last chance to get this huge sale that we were running, like last chance, final hours. And the and it was only to a small segment, about 1,000 people of that list, because they were ones already interested that hadn't completed the purchase.

What blew my mind, which like it always does, but it's just so different because we don't do notifications, is I hit send, it goes back to the screen that lists all of your latest sends. In the time it took to refresh that, 40% of the people had opened the email already, 25% had clicked the link in about 20 seconds.

That doesn't make sense.

It makes no sense to me because of how we function, but it's something we have to always keep in mind is people get notifications nonstop all day. Re- They're in reactive mode all the time. And it's like I know it, but that was one just sort of reinforcing, cause then, of course, I refresh it and it's like because it was a very targeted email for a specific subset of people, almost 100% of the people had opened it within minutes.

That's crazy.

Which is so crazy, but

But I find it fascinating to watch how people use their phones. Not that I'm I'm not judging people, I'm just merely curious <laughter> how You shut your whore mouth. <laughter>

You've never heard me say that on here! <laughter> That's one of our inside phrases that you say to me all the time!

Whoops! <laughter> It's a joke! <laughter> The I don't judge how people use their phones, I just am very curious how people do, cause the large majority of people that I've seen use their phones, it's that constant dopamine hit of "Oh, I got this text, I should respond to that. Oh, I got this comment," not responding to that, which is one thing that you should be responding to, but I'll save that for another day.

But it's just it's constantly opening every new notification known to humankind. And then like just not doing anything productive. Like you have the ultimate tool right here.

You can do literally anything and everything. You can run a business, you can do You can do so much with this thing, but I don't feel like enough people I don't feel like enough people are using it to its fullest potential. Like you're you're using it to have all the distractions and everything from life instead of using it to build a better life and a better business.

The challenge is these are both These are rabbit holes, because that's also how people use AI.

No, I know.

Not to be better, not to do more, to do less, to do worse.

I know. I started saying it and I was like, "This is a whole other topic."

Yeah, so it's like so hard, so we can't we can't go way too far down that rabbit hole.

But just going back to the boundaries, if you're trying to record content, cause we obviously work with a lot of people who want to make content, if you're struggling and you like can't figure out why you can't seem to be making content, it's because you're using the wrong tool, and your phone is amazing. It's super easy, it's free, meaning you already have it, it's right there.

But I would heavily, heavily consider having a separate camera, a separate recording device, like the DJI Osmo is amazing, cause it has a little gimbal and everything.

Osmo Pocket.

Or, yeah, that, <laughter> cause it's stabilized, so you don't need to worry if you have shaky hands or if you're just not paying attention. <laughter> You're good to go. Using something that's specifically made for recording content is perfect. Then you don't need to worry about "Oh, I'm going to pick up my phone and forget what I was talking about," or "I forgot what I was talking about." <laughter> So <laughter> it's It's seriously so super helpful and it puts you in that right frame of mind.

You're conditioned. It's like Pavlovian, you're conditioning yourself, "Oh, I'm going to make content, so I'm going to pull out my camera."

So, I didn't even go down that, but I almost did earlier. Crossing a boundary, going through a doorway, walking into the office where you do your work, <Amara laughs>

Yeah.

Grabbing the device This is not a phone, <laughter> but grabbing the phone or camera that you film with, you're changing the scene, your brain throws everything away, and it says "This is what we're doing now."

Like, that's very powerful. It's a powerful way to use the boundary concept.. I mean, No, that's That can I have too many ideas on this, so we'll we'll sort of like wind down here, but I just wanted to say

I bet you find that interesting.

Yeah, I just wanted to say real quick on social media, the constant scrolling of being like "The first thing I do when I grab my phone is go to whatever," insert social media platform, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook,

Infographics.

Pinterest,

I just scroll all day.

Twitter, X, <laughter> but like whatever you do, thinking about that "Oh no, but I have to be on social media to build and grow." I understand that pushback, but for a quick anecdotal example, way less than a year ago, we started a hyper-local platform doing what we do, typically for clients, for small businesses and realtors all over the country, and we call it Top of Nappanee.

We started our own platform doing it for ourselves. So, Amara's the face of it. We don't want anyone following it because I don't know why I held up my mic to smile. <laughter> So, they hear it.

But Amara's the face of it. We don't talk about it elsewhere, because we only want hyper-local people. We want people in the town that it's for.

It's for one town in the whole country, in the whole world. And in a handful of months, we have a number that's not going to sound big. Remember, this is Useful Not Famous.

We have We just crossed over 4,000 followers on Instagram. I mean, just about as many on the other platforms as well, but we're talking just Instagram now. 4,000.

We don't use Instagram. We don't use social media. We use it as a tool to get all of the content out there.

We deliver to people how they want to be reached, what they want to be reached with, when they want to be reached. So, the thought that Well, let me just say the 4,000 is 10% of the entire town. 10% of everyone.

That's weird to think about.

And that's including infants and children and anyone in town.

I do really well with infants. <laughter>

Yeah. <laughter> So, 10% of every single living human in town follows this account in just a few months. And it's not from scrolling. She's never scrolling.

She's not commenting and liking on other content all the time. That's not a It's a tactic you can use, but you're probably not. What you're probably doing is scrolling through the maybe it's sexy women, maybe it's whatever ladies like, whatever the you know,

How do you know what's on my profile? <laughter>

But, you know, like I don't know Whatever the algorithm thinks your archetype of human is going to not stop scrolling, it's going to give you. And as soon as you slow down on one of it, it's going to give you more. It doesn't matter.

It knows It knows your speed. <laughter> You can barely, imperceptibly change and it's going to be like, "They like this," and it's going to change and give you that to keep you there forever. We use these as tools, and when you use it as a tool, it's so different. You don't pick it up and start scrolling mindlessly, which changes where your mind is, you crossed a boundary, you changed the scene, you lost whatever you were thinking and working on, and you're doing this tens, dozens, hundreds of times a day.

Or even just every time you take a beat, <laughter> and then you pick up your phone, like that's not good.

Then you have a serious problem.

Well, well, I mean, whatever. Just if you want to go down this other path, welcome to our cult. <laughter> No, but like there's another path that you can take. People have recognized and said, I think to both of us, but definitely multiple A lot of people had have said to me directly, like "You never grab your phone." And like I don't.

I don't grab my phone if I'm with people, unless there's a very specific reason I need to, because it's not It's just It's a tool that I use for things, and that's not like I'm better than, it's not to try to like puff myself up, it's just this is how I've found that it works for me, very similarly how you found it works for you.

I would say we use it exactly the same, but I don't want to like project it onto you.

Well, I was like nobody's ever said that to me, but I just they wouldn't know that I have a phone, because you never see it unless we're filming and I'm prompting you, but that's literally the only time you'll see that I have a phone. Otherwise, if I need to check something, I check it in the bathroom, because I don't want to check it in front of people, because I don't think that's polite, personally.

But yeah, like you will You will not know that I have a phone. You wouldn't know what model I have or anything like that, and I guarantee nobody would.

Well, and what's fun then is since we've gotten into watches, like this one,

Yeah.

It's actually been so beneficial. It sounds so dumb to be like, "Well, you can just look at your phone and see the time," and that's what I've always done, and I never really cared what time it was, because we're We have the absolute freedom of time in what we do. But if I need to know what time it is, I would look at my phone.

Maybe back in the day there's notifications, then maybe "Oh wait, let me Oh, let me just do this real quick," or "You know, I'll look at this later," and then it's back here all day. Like having an actual well, a mechanical watch, which is even cooler, but having an actual watch on the wrist has been very helpful.

It is very freeing, cause I've had that when looking at my watch, too. Mine is way cooler than yours. Mine is a swimming pool with a little rubber ducky in it, and that's what tells you the time. <Jeff laughs> It's amazing.

But I can actually tell the time on it, but I like just looking at it and being like, "Oh, cool, it's 3:42," or whatever, or 3:45. I have to round up in fives, because it is a little more difficult to tell. <laughter>

No, but an analog watch, it is You just sort of always rounding a little bit.

Yeah, and, again, not an Apple Watch, the sweatpants of watches, <Jeff laughs> not another distraction. So many people, again, they have their phones in their hand and then their Apple Watch on their wrist, and it's you're alternating between the two and it's like you don't need either of those. Like you would have so much less anxiety if you just put those two in a locker for a day and just exist.

Like you'd feel so good. Join our cult. <laughter>

<laughter> Yeah, just it's something to think about, and just think about boundaries. I think there's there's a lot more for us to explore here.

I actually feel like this could be a very interesting like book topic.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Well, because it is a big topic in brain research.

I feel like I've read something about this before.

. So, there's a there's someone at University of Chicago, and she's sort of the foremost expert in Mandela Effect. I don't remember offhand.

Do you know her name?

Okay. But the Mandela Effect, specifically, and she's done basically, she is the person who's done all the research to try to determine did we cross through an interdimensional wormhole, and that's why we have these memories that aren't real,

That's cool.

Which she's sort of like actually proven untrue. <laughter> Oh.

I thought you were going to say true. I was like, "You're just telling me this now?" <laughter>

You're right. Actually, let me throw one thing that I find really interesting. When you think of so, I feel like you already know the punchline of it, but when you think of the Monopoly man, what do you think of?

Like, describe him in just a few a few qualities.

Top hat, mustache, little slacks, little shoes.

Okay, and you don't throw a monocle in?

No, he doesn't have a monocle.

So, like he doesn't, and that's the thing, is so many people think he has a monocle.

Because of Ace Ventura, probably.

Well, I don't know. Like I've never But I want to get to the other part. If what she did, which is really fascinating, to do an actual controlled test, she has people who don't know these characters, these things, the Fruit of the Loom logo,

Oh, yeah, the cornucopia?

Yeah. Like there is no cornucopia. That never has existed.

Yeah, -huh.

Wait, is that what Are you being real right now?

Yeah, there's like

Oh, so this is the better one. Okay, good. The Fruit of the Loom logo, you what you envision

Yeah, there's totally a cornucopia.

With fruit coming out of it.

That's how I learned what the hell a cornucopia was.

Yeah, so that never happened.

What?

Never. There's never in the history of human time been a Fruit of the Loom logo with a cornucopia. So, that's the Mandela Effect.

So, what she then does, she, one of her studies was finding people who do not know that logo along with all the other things. She would, within like in a controlled setting, I'm not explaining it in the actual scientific methodology, but they would see it for the first time along with a bunch of other things. They'd be going through and doing the things that they do in the study to sort of even it out, and be like, "Oh, actually, can you draw what you saw?

What was that Fruit of the Loom logo?" There is a statistical statistically significant number of people who draw it with the cornucopia when they were never shown the cornucopia <gasp> and have

What?

And have never seen the logo before in their entire lives. So, there's something else going on there, some other mechanism, and that's why the monocle with the Monopoly man, there's some mechanism, like you said, Ace Ventura could be whatever, but there's some mechanism there where our brain is throwing away the parts of the scene that it thinks aren't important and saving the ones that it thinks is.

And then, what is what's that gap? Where's the cornucopia showing up between the stuff we're just assuming, we didn't save it because we just know it, and the stuff we saved because we have to know it? It lives somewhere in that gray area.

I wonder if that is even just like a word association thing then, because like for the Monopoly man, I could see thinking that there is a monocle, because the top hat, the spats, like the whole garb.

What?

The spats?

The spats?

Spats, it's shoe coverings. <laughter> But he has that whole garb of like a 1920s banker, so you would think that he has a <laughter> manacle, I almost said manacle, Jesus. <laughter> So, I can I could see Like I feel like it's almost our brain working more or harder than it needs to, so the brain is trying to fill in the gaps and fill in the pieces, and it's like, "Oh, well, naturally that stupid little guy on the game board would have a monocle," because that fits the archetype of what we've seen.

So, it's almost like conditioning, like how you brought up Oz Pearlman, the Mentalist, earlier. It's having our brain or our brain tricking us and filling in the gaps that we didn't even ask for it to fill. Granted, a cornucopia is a very random thing for the brain to fill in.

That one is very odd, like very.

Like, that's very specific, and it feels like, especially kids nowadays, like people born in maybe the 2010s or 2020s, they're not going to know a cornucopia, but like growing up, I feel like we were probably the last generation to know what a cornucopia is or was, because that's related to Thanksgiving, typically, now.

So, that is really fascinating. Like, I feel like it's just the brain filling in pieces.

Yeah. Well, and that's that's the whole point of this, that's why the boundaries.

And then I would wonder, too, the people that drew the cornucopia if they knew what the hell that even was, <laughter> like if they knew that was a thing that even existed, cause if they didn't, that would be so weird if they just were like, "I don't know, I drew this weird horn thing and you can put shit in it," and it's like, "What is this?"

So, that right there would be really fascinating, because recently I saw a video about horses and how, like, you never get behind a horse.

For a cornucopia? <laughter>

You never get behind a horse because they could kick you.

Yeah.

But brand new newborn horses, if something's behind them, they will kick it. They aren't taught that. It's It's deep down inside, that's just what you do when you're a horse.

Like, there was like a little clip of it was a baby horse just born and bounced around, it was like <screaming> "Bah!" <laughter> like right away.

So, I've heard that then with like humans. So, like we're evolved from hundreds and thousands, hundreds of thousands of years of people of different hominids and whatever. Being afraid of snakes or being afraid of insects, that is a fear that we all sort of have, Being afraid of incest. <laughter>

<laughter>

Yeah, not really. <laughter> Not enough. <laughter> But like creepy crawlies and things like that, like that is an innate fear that we have even if we're not actually afraid of it, but there is like a "Ugh!" factor to it where that's that's our Shit's very weird, but I find it fascinating. But that's sort of like our ancestors, it's in our DNA passed through to us.

So, <sigh> oh man, I could go everywhere with this, but I find it fascinating, but then that's like fight or flight, and it's like do you inherit certain things from your genetic makeup because of what happened to your ancestors 10,000 years ago? And is that why certain people have this fear, but then certain people have this fear?

I don't know, I find it so cool.

Well, I mean, little things like little things, I'm saying this like very narrow-lane things like addiction.

Like, there seem to be traits that are passed down. How is that How is that even possible <Amara laughs> that like connections like that happen, but there's something about our makeup. So, who knows if these Mandela Effect concepts are tied to some genetic understanding, like a memory that it is just in there?

I don't know why Shaq being in the movie Kazaam is a memory that we all have from his from our line, lineage, but

I remember that verbatim.

Isn't that funny?

That it was Shaq.

-huh. But anyway,

I mean, the movie doesn't even exist, period. There is no movie called Kazaam.

Really?

Yeah.

No!

That's the whole thing. That movie never happened.

Oh, cause it's Sinbad, right?

But it's not even Kazaam.

No, but he says, "Alec" Hold on, Jesus, <laughter> "Kazaam." Or no, it's "Kazaam," that's what it is.

Yeah, so he was in Kazaam.

Yeah, that I remember.

And then, other people think it's Shazaam, and then with Sinbad.

Yeah, I remember Sinbad, cause I remember looking it up before, and then I was like, "Oh yeah, it was Sinbad." Like I remember his face.

Yeah, so that never happened.

Cause Sinbad was in Jingle All The Way, right?

-huh.

Yeah.

But that never happened either. So, I don't know why that's in our genetic heritage.

Wait, Kazaam never did? Kazaam happened, Shazaam didn't. Oh, I was like, "Yeah, Kazaam definitely happened, duh."

No, but it's a whole like all of these things and Man- Nelson Mandela died in prison, is what a lot of people think, and he didn't, and people were saying that he did when he was literally still alive and living in South Africa.

Oh yeah, same years and all that stuff.

Yeah, so there's lots of things, but

Well, yeah, Mandela Effect isn't new, but it's different things keep popping up.

Where this where this all came from is the interesting thing. Like, who knows? But it's all connected back to the boundaries and changing scenes and how that affects our brain and what we remember.

So, anyway, this was fun.

Was it?

It was for me. Not fun for you?

. Give me a questionnaire at the end.

Okay, was this fun for you?

No, I want a paper questionnaire.

A paper <laughter> We don't do paper here.

Fine. I only do it though when it's multiple choice.

Was this fun for you? A: Yes. B: Hell, yes.

C: I think, kind of, sort of, heck, yes.

Are those A, B, C, 1, 2, 3?

A, B, and C.

Can you repeat the choices?

No.

Oh. I guess C. All the above.

I think kind of, sort of, heck, yes. Okay. Well, that's good.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm not a good test taker. <laughter>

We'll be right back. <laughter>

<laughter>

<laughter> All right. If you enjoy this episode, leave a rating and review wherever you listen or watch, and check us out on YouTube, YouTube.com/maeven. Subscribe, ring the bell, do all that stuff.

We really appreciate it, and we'll see you next week.

Bye!

Bye!